A Month Can Change A Life… So Can Too Much Champagne

IMG_2655Who knew that thirty days in Europe would change my life?  I entered the continent with hopes of delicious food, breathtaking sights, and a needed break from dating.  Well, I certainly achieved the first two.  However, romance seems to follow me, even when I travel across the Atlantic.

In my first stops, I learned about the dating cultures in Spain, Denmark, Hungary, Britain, the Netherlands, and Austria.  On Bastille Day in Paris, I sipped from a few too many bottles of champagne and made some poor life choices.  I picked up a Dutch and Canadian boyfriend, speeding through all the aspects of a longer relationship – exciting beginnings, unrequited L-word use, and then a tough break-up when my obsession turned to repulsion (doesn’t it always?).

I wrote a lot as I traveled, learned seven important life lessons along the way, and hope to share them with you here on WSK.  I suppose my most shocking discovery, however, occurred around day twenty of my trip: perhaps two isn’t always better than one.  Perhaps, finding a husband need not be a priority in my life.  Perhaps… perhaps… perhaps I lead a damn good life on my own, alone.

IMG_2934But first, let’s back up to the evening of my regret-filled Bastille Day Eve.  You need a little background before reading the next few posts, written on my worst day traveling, with shaking hands, a pounding head, and a nasty hangover under the shadow of the Arc de Triomphe.

IMG_2766Each neighborhood firehouse hosts a party from about 8pm to the early hours of the morning on Bastille Day.  Parisians across the city celebrate with music, dancing, and champagne, in support of their local firefighters.  I planned my entire trip to Europe around seeing the fireworks behind the Eifel Tower and partying with the French.

I befriended other travelers (Marie, from Canada, and some Californian boys), and convinced them to come to the local party with me.  Marie had been hitting on and flirting with one of the Californians, Anthony, for a few days.  She planned to make a move at the party.  I, in turn, wanted nothing to do with any of the traveling Americans, but played wing woman and talked to his unattractive, rude, and arrogant friend, Arthur.  Before we entered the crowded party, I told her that we should stick together and promise to leave together.  She agreed, and we decided that worst-case scenario, we’d at least meet at the front door if we separated.

Five or six bottles of champagne later, I realized that I lost Marie.  Arthur was also missing, so I just assumed they were dancing somewhere nearby, and I’d find her later.  Later came and went, and no Marie.  I looked for her near the front door unsuccessfully. An hour passed – no Marie at the front door.  Another hour passed, no Marie.

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Stuck listening to Arthur jabber on about his own intelligence and belief that the east coast has nothing valuable on it, I drank more champagne.  Marie missing, Arthur and I continued on with the champagne-drinking Bastille Day tradition, and my ability to find Marie declined.  In fact, my ability to think clearly disappeared.  I couldn’t remember – was it alcohol that lowers your inhibitions?  And increases your chances of making regrettable decisions?  Or was that something else?  The evening became a blur and (as usual) only one thing could hold my attention any more:  dancing.

Before I knew it, Arthur and I made out on the dance floor.  I hated Arthur.

The next morning, I discovered that Marie, Anthony, and all of Arthur’s other friends were in on the plan to go to the party with me, ditch me, and hope that Arthur could get me drunk enough to make out with him.  What lovely friends I had made in Paris.

Get Me Out of Here!

I cannot emphasize how ready I am to get the hell out of this country.  I am so done with this dance.  Does he like me?  Does he not like me?  Am I too old to be dating?  Will I ever find him?  Will I die alone?  I can’t wait for my head to stop spinning with these stupid thoughts.  In only a few days my most troublesome worry will be this:  chocolate croissant or plain?

Thanks for ruining my birthday

The night of my birthday could not have been better.  My closest friends joined me for sushi and we walked over to my favorite neighborhood bar.  The change from 27 to 28 wasn’t bad so far… or so I thought.

Two hours after we entered the bar, a dashing Italian man started to chat me up.  Very smart and articulate, I didn’t mind when his hand fell on the small of my back.  He guessed I turned 24 today… maybe 22 he said.  When I corrected him, he took his hands off me and physically backed away from me.  He choked a bit, “You are 28?”  I nodded, laughing.  “Well, this, this thing between us, well, it just won’t work.  You and I won’t work at all.”  My laughter halted. “Yes, dear, I’m sorry, but I just don’t talk to older women.  I like mine much younger, you see.  You understand, yes?”

He was 27, by the way.

I guess when you turn 28 you become a cougar.

I’m So Good At Texting

My $75 parking ticket obviously wasn’t the deal breaker.  Fine, sometimes I quickly become irrational.  You caught me.  Twenty-four hours after he stood me up on the docks, I desperately missed texting him.  We had been texting a few times a day, and I hadn’t heard from him in what felt like years. The mature thing to do?  Text him something like, “Hey, how’s it going?”

What I did?  Drank five too many Bud Lights and texted him, “Get any more packages today?” to which he, rightly so, ignored.

Note to self:  NEVER EVER EVER text while drinking.  Maybe, let’s even go so far as to simply say NEVER EVER EVER text.  Then, at least, I can maintain some sense of self worth and dignity!

That time I got stood up and had to pay $75 anyway

IMG_0296He suggested we sail. He needed to wait for a package to arrive at home and then he’d come pick me up.  “The package should arrive by three,” he promised.

3:00 came and went.

3:15 came and went.

I read his angry texts cursing the delivery truck as 3:30 came and went.

Apology texts buzzed on my phone as 3:45 came and went.

Even though the docks closed at six, he suggested I drive now and he would meet me.  In the 95-degree summer heat, driving myself sounded fine as long as I found myself lapping up the waves and feeling the cool breeze on his boat.  I parked, paid the meter, and walked towards the Charles.  A beep from my phone: “I’m very sorry to get your hopes up, but if it doesn’t come in the next ten minutes, I don’t think we will have time.  Maybe I can meet you for a drink.”

Disappointed that I couldn’t see him and that we couldn’t sail, I forced myself to enjoy the first day of summer anyway.  With my brand new Canon in hand, I found a relaxing spot next to the river.  I photographed the people, buildings, and river of my favorite city with the sounds of the water and children laughing all around me.  Children and adults crowded the esplanade, playing, biking, roller blading, and walking.  I listened to Ingrid Michelson (my favorite) and basked in the summer energy, lying in the grass with my finger on the shutter.

Walking back to my car, certain euphoria had overtaken me. Sun kissed and happy, my summer seemed perfect thus far (even with the minor change in sailing plans).

The rapid change in my mood from exceedingly happy to ridiculously angry even shocked me as I lifted the $75 parking ticket from my wiper.  Without looking close enough to the three inch by four-inch sign four cars down the road, I had failed to notice that parking was illegal on that particular block in the city from 4 to 5pm.

Obviously, this was all his fault!  If he hadn’t suggested sailing and then asked me to drive and then canceled sailing I would not be out $75 dollars!  And, to top it all off, when I texted him to tell him I got a ticket, all he said was, “That sucks”.  Maybe he isn’t quite the man of my dreams after all.

Family Parties

This is what our family parties look like.

I love my supportive parents.  The rest of my family, however, don’t always support as they should.  Exhibit A and B suffice to demonstrate:

Exhibit A

While discussing my upcoming trip to Europe, my cousin said this:  “You need to make sure you bring a fiancé back from your trip.  You are getting kind of old, and it’s about time, don’t you think?”

Exhibit B

As we left my dad called a distant relative (my dad’s sister’s husbands’ sister’s husband, to be exact) a creep.  I laughed and asked what he said or did to deserve that descriptor.  He’s an older man – maybe in his 60s, so couldn’t be too creepy, right?  My dad simply responded with this: “He told me that he thought you have a hot body”.  Gross.

An unrelated side note:  Is it crazy that I spent a good deal of time at the family party thinking about how fun it’d be to bring the new guy I’m dating to a family party so he can laugh at my psychotic relatives with me?

First Date Questions

images-1He gives me the impression that he actually might like me.  Is that possible?  Was this not a one night make out thing? I thought it was a one night thing?  Does he actually want to take me sailing next Tuesday in addition to dinner tonight?  When he texts three times in a row is it because he wants a piece or because he wants to get to know me?  Does it matter that he has not asked me what I do for a living?  I’m pretty sure he is an international spy, based solely on his giant passport.  Does it matter that he has no idea I’m leaving the country for a month in ten days?  Does he think this might be something serious?  I’m always up for serious… but the timing on this one is poor to say the least.

He confuses me to the point of nausea.  Well, just to the point of extreme, severe excitement.  It’s 8:27 and he should be here in three minutes.  How is it possible that I am ready before he arrives?  I don’t know.  I feel like a school girl waiting for Mom and Dad to let me out of my bedroom to see what Santa brought.  I’m far too excited.  It’s only a first date.  Well, is it a first date?  We met last weekend and spent a fair amount of time together?  So, was that a first date?  I guess if he still has no idea that I am a teacher, then this is a first date.

The Big Ones Turn Me On…

His was huge.  Bulging with thickness.  So impressive I couldn’t stop staring at it.  Once I spotted it, I couldn’t even speak.   The first page was typical: bad picture, name, birthday, expiration date, but after that it was unlike any passport I had ever seen.

So hot.

So hot.

With no less than eight stamps per page, he had at least thirty – possibly forty additional pages added to make room for the visas pasted throughout.  He’d spent six months in Myanmar, six in Thailand, six in countries I couldn’t even pronounce.  Each page’s stamps bragged:  France, Russia, China, New Zealand, Madagascar, Egypt, Pakistan, Germany, Peru, Chile, the list went on.

He laughed as I flipped through.  “You are so turned on right now, aren’t you?”

And, as he drove me home, I just said, “I wish I hadn’t seen that passport.”  He knew as much as I did that I’d never get him out of my head.  Shit.

Of Course

Of course, the day I publish a post about Glasses Boy and his friends, he messages me on Facebook about another beer festival this weekend…

I guess the real question here is this:

Will I repeat all the same mistakes again or will I make better life choices this time?

Predictions via comments encouraged.

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Beer, Boys, and Regret

Beer festivals always teem with men.  You know the type – fun, smart, into brewing, and generally attractive with that sexy messed up hair look.  And, this beerfest was no different.  Introduced to attractive boy after attractive boy, I couldn’t see straight.  “Welcome to Heaven, self… you’ve made it.”  I made my rounds, and spoke with (aka flirted) with everyone there.

Yeah... you would have liked Glasses Boy too...

Yeah… you would have liked Glasses Boy too…

The boy in the glasses became my favorite.  Before I met him, a friend of his told me about him: he’s Greek and started a brewery a year ago in Boston.  His Greek culture caused me to declare that I would not flirt with him, and certainly would not become attracted to him.  My terrible ex was Greek, so I try to avoid all things Greek… especially Greek boys.  Of course, my declaration to avoid and dislike backfired, and I found myself talking to him more than anyone else.  He gave me insights on what brewing, marketing, and selling beer entailed.  He put his arm around me three times (but, hey, who’s counting…) so I thought perhaps I had a chance.

Later, he found me to tell me that his friend, Joe, told him I was cute and wanted to talk to me more.  Here was the moment of the evening when I should have taken the hint, found, and talked to Joe.  At this particular moment in time, however, I still thought I had a shot with Glasses Boy.  I took the fun fact about his friend Joe, put it in my pocket, and did nothing with it.  Why wouldn’t I talk to someone clearly interested in me?  I thought that if Joe wanted to talk to me, he could come find me.  I eyed Glasses Boy and Joe from across the room, and sought out Glasses Boy.  I still expected Joe to come find me.  Eventually, my friends and I left Joe in the dust, and followed Glasses Boy to the next bar.

Adam, another friend of Glasses Boy, saddled up next to me at the new bar.  He was a co-owner of the brewery and easy to talk to.  We started discussing relationships (his ex hurt him years ago and since he started running the brewery, he just didn’t have the time for women).  When the tables turned and he asked about my love life, I admitted to having a thing for Glasses Boy.  He simply said, “Get in line.  All the girls like him.”  Even this didn’t discourage me as it should have.  I tried to talk to Glasses Boy later, but soon saw his arm around another girl.  I sat back down next to Adam for more interesting conversation, but in the back of my mind, wondered where Glasses Boy hid.

The next time I looked around the bar for him, Glasses Boy enjoyed the lips of  some random 21-year-old girl!  He’s 28 by the way…and in my opinion should be making out with someone his age (cough, cough, me).

The next morning, I may or may not have friended them all on Facebook (obviously I did), but I can’t look back on the night without regret.  Regret that I didn’t see Glasses Boy’s disinterest (while confused by his arm around me, I should have known when he told me about Joe).  Regret that I never spoke to Joe when I had the chance.  Regret that I told Adam I liked Glasses Boy, but never looked at Adam as anything more than a friend of Glasses Boy (I know I would have found Adam’s candidness, ambition, and intelligence attractive in any other setting).  Regret that I got so stuck on one cute boy with glasses, and missed everything else happening around me.