Even Aladdin Snapchats

I love snapchat.  I use it dozens of times a day.  Pictures of me sticking my tongue out at red lights and pictures of the Boston skyline make their way to my cousins almost ever hour.  I look forward to their face with a 50 character caption explaining how they feel at that moment.  To be clear here, I use the app with family.  Aware of its purpose to sext, I never use it for that.

Yesterday, I received a snap chat text from a screen name I didn’t know.  It was a video of Monsters Inc. and a picture of a slightly overweight man with a beard.  Upon asking who he was, he sent three ‘angry-face’ pictures.  I had no idea.  Still.  It was awkward.

But then it got more awkward when he reminded me of who he was…

Three years ago I met an average man at a party.  We talked but I didn’t find him overly attractive.  No sparks.  Later, a conversation arose revealing that he spent his summers dressed up like Aladdin in Walt Disney World.  Game changer.  All of my wildest dreams came true.  I grew up obsessed with that movie.  Knew every word to every scene.  Choreographed dances to each song and performed for my parents in our living room.  (I know what you are thinking:  1993 was a bad year for my parents, judging my the number of times they had to feign interest in the movie and watch me jump around their house to its music.)

Anyway, the guy at the party suddenly became more interesting and exciting.  Aladdin and I talked about his job in Disney for the rest of the night, and I played “A Whole New World” four times on the car ride home with my friends.  Aladdin texted and asked me out.  He suggested a Mediterranean restaurant and I spent days gushing over the fact that I would dine with the one and only Prince Ali!  I told everyone I knew that I would soon take the name Princess of Agrabah and find my prince.

Head in the clouds, I approached our date with high hopes.

Shocker:  He wasn’t the actual Aladdin.  There were no apples tossed behind his back.  No magic carpet rides.  Certainly no lamp.  No Robin Williams dubbed genie.

The night consisted of awkward silences and dull conversation.  At the end of the date, he suggested we go to Puerto Rico for our second date.  As a flight attendant, he had access free flights and hotel rooms.  I respectfully declined and wished him best.

I never saw him again… until yesterday.  Unshaven and twenty pounds heavier, he continued to snapchat me every ten minutes or so.  Each one showed his face with a strange caption, like, “Ur uber cute :D. U think I m 2?”  I stopped responding.  He continued to send more.  After 24 hours of this harassment, I blocked him.

I know I’ll find my prince someday, but Aladdin wasn’t it three years ago and still isn’t it today.