The Unwelcome Goodnight Kiss. Yuck!

cackle cackle cackle

He was cute.  Normal.  Great conversationalist.  But cackled when he laughed.  Cackled LOUDLY and very high pitched.  Mariah Carey high pitched.  And he laughed a lot.  It became distracting.  I started wondering if the people around us could hear it too… maybe that was why they moved to another part of the bar.

I also could not put my finger on who he reminded me of all night.  He looked like or sounded like or acted like someone I knew.  I just couldn’t really figure out who.  Until, about half way through the date, between cackles, I realized he sort of looked just like my friend’s twin sister.  Yes.  Sister.  He acted like her, too (she is awesome, though).  Once I realized he really reminded me of her, I was clearly 100% no longer romantically interested.  (The cackle laugh helped with that too).

Other than these two odd anomalies, he was entertaining and fun.  He had some great stories to share (and cackle about).  He told me about when his fraternity had Afro Man perform for a party, about how he was good friends with the guy who played Donkeylips from Salute Your Shorts, about his high school soccer game when a drunk stumbled onto the field, started a fight, and was arrested, and about how his roommate got married in Las Vegas last weekend without telling any one.

He would have been a good catch!  Well, if he didn’t cackle quite so alarmingly, and if he didn’t remind me of my friend’s sister.  He also only spoke in questions:  “I went skiing this weekend?  It was great?  I got new boots? It was my first time wearing them out and they were awesome?”

After about an hour of cackles, questions, and stories, I became restless.  I knew that I was not interested and was ready to end the date.  I expressed interest in going home, explained that I need to be up early in the morning for school, and even yawned a few times.  He ordered another beer.  I was stuck!  What was I supposed to do?  Just peace out after he had bought me two drinks and laughed at his own stories all night in high pitch squeals?  At one point, he got up, so I excitedly put my jacket on, ready to go!  He said, “Um, I was going to the bathroom?…. Be right back?”  Jacket off.  Torture via too-long-of-a-date ensue.

Eventually, the date finally ended.  He walked me about one third of the way home (random) and said, “This was great?  I had so much fun?  Let’s do it again sometime?”  As he went in for a goodnight kiss, I backed away, said goodbye, and turned to start the remaining two thirds of my walk home. Three seconds passed, and he screamed, “Hey?  Wait?  Why did you run away so fast?  Come back?”  He walked over to me, went in for a second awkward goodnight kiss, to which I backed away/ran home again.  Take the hint, buddy!  Good night kiss = not wanted!