Ke$ha, Unlimited Chips, and a Free Hat All in One Night

Courtney, Nina, and I sat at our favorite local dive bar, steps away from their adorable Cambridge apartment.  I reveled in the luxury of school vacation, and suggested we go out on a Sunday night.  Of course, the empty bar lacked excitement, but we planned to bring the fun.

The bartender took a liking to us, bringing free beer and unlimited chips and salsa.  He gave us full reign over the juke box, so of course Ke$ha was the only thing heard that night.  That is, until other costumers complained of the terrible music and put on country (yuck!).  We laughed and danced and one of us ended up dancing on the bar for a minute or so (fine, it was me).

The three other guys at he bar started up a conversation with us regarding our music selections.  We enjoyed conversation with them for the rest of the night and became fast friends.  Turns out, Kevin, Ethan, and Brian live right next to Nina and Courtney and lived with the bartender in college.  We made plans to grab drinks at their place the following Thursday and laughed at all the coincidences discovered that night.

The longer we stayed, the longer the bartender gave us free drinks and snacks.  When I ordered my fourth serving of chips and dip (which I didn’t even share), he said, “Really?  How can you eat this many chips?”  What can I say? I love food.  I flirted with him for the rest of the night, attracted to his sharp style and quick wit.  He gave me his hat in exchange for my number, and I stumbled out of the bar with a brand new fedora and a stomach full of chips.

Within minutes, I got a text: “Hey.  What are you guys up to now?”

Excited that the bartender was already texting and looking to extend the night, I wrote back, “We are walking back to Nina and Courtney’s place.  Probably just going to bed. When does your shift at the bar end?”

“No, this isn’t Ben.  This is Kevin.”  I forgot that I also gave Kevin my number to coordinate our Thursday night hang out with all the neighbors.  I felt disappointed that it was just Kevin and not Ben.  Little did I know, though, that texts from Kevin would soon become frequent and sought after.

The bartender did text me to hang out the next day, and excitement pulsed through my blood. Maybe he’s the one.  After a few texts, he eventually asked, “Why don’t you  come to my place for a few drinks tomorrow around ten?”  Go to your place?  For a few drinks?  That’s a booty call if I’ve ever heard one.  I’d do a lot of things for a first date, but sketchy drinks at your place is not one of them.  I canceled our plans and kept his hat.  Win.

Challenge Accepted

After a crappy (literally) Valentine’s date, I met Courtney at the perfect non-Valentine’s day bar ever. Instead of roses, sushi, and a live violinist, it had trivia, fried food, beer, and a juke box.  After plugging in ten Ke$ha and ten Sara Bareilles songs into the juke box, we recounted our evenings and debated whether or not Valentine’s Day is the worst holiday ever.

At one point, our argument got so heated that one of the two gentlemen enjoying beers next to us chimed in. Courtney noticed said gentleman’s buckle-inspired wristband and said, ”I totally want that bracelet. I bet you could get him to give that to you. Then you could give it to me.”

Never willing to let my good friend Barney Stinson down, I immediately replied, “Challenge accepted”.

I walked over to the two guys and continued to discuss the pros and cons of Cupid’s stupid holiday. After we each stated our sides on the debate, names, careers, and hometowns were exchanged as well. As conversation lulled I feigned surprise upon ‘noticing’ his interesting bracelet. ”Would it be possible for me to try that on?” I questioned. He fastened it to my wrist, after which I suddenly had the urge to use the ‘bathroom’, i.e. complete the challenge and show my newly adorned wrist to Courtney.

Squelching her excitement, I admitted that I would be unable to actually steal a nice guy’s cool wrist band. Instead, I watched him from across the bar, waiting until he stood to leave. As I returned his jewelry, he asked for my number and a chance to hang out again.

Two days later, he called. Yes, you heard right, he CALLED. I can’t remember the last time a guy I met at a bar actually picked up the phone, called, and then, wait for it… left a voice mail when I didn’t pick up.  Most men start with the seductively lacking “hey” text message.  Bracelet Man might be a keeper.

He Didn’t Need To Know I’d Blog About Him.

It was Thursday night.  All of my wildest dreams had come true and school was canceled due to the epic blizzard/clownfish Nemo. So, what do I do after my 9pm date?  Obviously meet Nina out for a few drinks.  She had just gotten off work and her coworker Allen was at the bar with her when I walked up.  We chatted for a bit and Allen ran to the bathroom before we left.  I quickly grabbed Nina’s arm and whispered, “I mean, Allen is not unattractive.  I wouldn’t say that I don’t like him…”  She smiled knowing what fanfare the night would probably entail.

Tiaras = Free Drinks

We all went to Sissy K’s for some college-style karaoke, dancing, and free drinks from the seven hundred men there.  Drinks were thrown at us, really.  A no-fail way to get free drinks:  Bring a tiara out.  Tell everyone it’s your 24^th birthday.  Bam.  Free drinks.  From everyone.  For you.  And your friends.  All night.  You win.

It was one of those nights.  We sang Ke$ha and Backstreet Boys into the microphones, danced the night away and yelled lyrics with absolutely no idea how to carry a tune.  We convinced one guy that we were all from Germany, and told another that we were siblings.  We may have gotten in a few minor fights on the dance floor when our tiara was stolen.

Allen brought up brewing his own beer, blogging about it, and making money off his blog.  After my first four free drinks, I didn’t hesitate to tell Allen about my own blog, hoping he would help me supplement my teaching income with blog income.  Big mistake.  What am I supposed to do now that a guy I like knows about this blog?  He’s reading this. Like, right now.  Shit.  I actually just had a conversation with my cousin Mori and her friend Hanna about telling guys about the blog.  We decided, OBVIOUSLY, that it was the worst idea.  Ever.  Reason 394 why I should stop drinking.

Anyway, it turned out that Allen liked me too.  He was terrible at pick up lines and had little to no game, but made it back to my place for an awesome evening of making out on my bed.  Best.  Thursday.  Ever.  And for the record… Allen hangs out with parrots, monkeys, and otters for a living (aka works at a zoo), may or may not play Dungeons and Dragons, loves to cook, is 26, knits winter hats, runs a 6 minute mile, and gives a great foot massage.  Solid.  Hopefully we go out again… and he doesn’t hold this post against me.

Since When is Britney Not Classy?

Does any one else find that they generally are dating two guys with the same name at the same time?  I feel like this always happens to me!  I dated at least three Stevens last summer, and was hanging out with two Matts at the same time in August.  Anyway, this was another Jacob.  Texting this weekend has been fun because it’s just been lots of Jacob-texts.  It takes me a minute to figure out which Jacob is which though, because I don’t know either of their last names yet.  Oops.

The date with this Jacob was really fun.  He turned out not to be a psychopath (yeay)!  He was shockingly normal, unlike what I’m used to from online dating.  He has a lot of cool interests and really loves his job.  A complete nerd, he challenged me to Scrabble, and I fully intend to win.  He could comment on the local library’s layout, which is a huge turn-on for me (I’m a complete nerd too, clearly).  He’s also very close to his family and showed me pictures of his cousins and siblings.

After a fair amount of witty banter and chit chat, he said he thought I was classy.  I tried to warn him I wasn’t, and encouraged him not to project ideas of what he was looking for on me until he got to know me. I’m not the classiest woman.  He insisted I was…

So classy.

…until ten minutes later when I admitted to leaving my iPhone at a Britney spears concert. He asked when this concert was (and clearly assumed it was in the 90s).  Upon admitting it to be last summer, he stated that my classiness had dropped from a 10 to a 2. Then, I confessed to being obsessed with Ke$ha.  Seeing her and LMFAO last summer was one of the best days of my life.  Apparently, he likes LMFAO and said that since they were there too, I was up to a 4 in class.  Pretty high I think.

At the end of the night, Jacob walked me to my car, respectfully hugged me, and asked for a second date.  I stopped to ask if he was really interested in a Britney Spears and Ke$ha fan.  He just said, “I’ll give you a second chance.”  I like it.  I also liked that he didn’t try to kiss me goodnight on the first date.  Even though I kind of wanted to, it makes the build up for date two even more exciting.

His last text that night read, “Goodnight, classy lady”.  Love it.